F1Rejects.com

by **dinizintheoven** » 09 Oct 2011, 07:50

I was thinking the other day: the "reject trophies" of 1987 for the hopelessly outclassed normally aspirated cars had names: the Jim Clark Trophy for the second-division Drivers' Championship, and the Colin Chapman Trophy as the Constructors' equivalent. They honoured a great driver and a great constructor, even though the drivers and teams competing for those trophies had slow machinery to work with and would finish miles back in the real race, whereas Jim Clark and Lotus certainly wouldn't in their heyday.

I was thinking of going even further back in history to name the F1RMGP trophies; I figured that the Tazio Nuvolari Cup for the Drivers' Championship and the Vincenzo Lancia Cup for the Constructors' Championship would honour two great names of the past (and not just because I used to own two Lancias and if anyone tells me they were actually Autobianchis you'll get a slap). Now, those 1987 trophies were given great and honourable names for what was, let's face it, a reject series. Even so, I was wondering if my trophies should get a rather more rejectful name.

Thing is, the obvious reject name for the Drivers' Championship - the Johnny Claes Cup - has already been taken for another alternative championship. Was there someone so heroically hopeless in those early days as to match, or even beat, Johnny Claes for rejectfulness? I'm sure those of you who have studied the 1950s in more detail than I have will be able to come up with a suitable name. Also, to the trophy for the Constructors' Championship - I need a name that evoked t' gool ol' days, but for a plucky constructor who tried to take on the big boys and failed quite miserably.

As for the Women's European Cup, I have a name for the Drivers' Championship trophy; that will be the Bertha Benz Cup, named after Karl Benz' wife - not only the first woman driver, but also the first joyrider (so the story goes) and even the first female car mechanic - using techniques that would have made Scrapheap Challenge proud. I can't get an appropriate name for the Constructors' trophy, though - and the only female team boss I can think of is Sarah Fisher, who's actually driving in the series, and is nowhere near historic enough. I forget what Carmen Ziegler's role was at Sauber in the early 1990s, but she wasn't head honcho, Peter Sauber was.

Seeing the deluge of entries for the Women's European Cup that flooded in as soon as I'd opened the post, I'm expecting many contributions here as well - within the first day. And given that the forum will be a hive of activity before, during and after the Japanese Grand Prix, that should help.

by **tommykl** » 09 Oct 2011, 15:15

For the F1RMGP Constructors' Trophy, maybe Frazer-Nash or Connaught?

by **BlindCaveSalamander** » 09 Oct 2011, 19:31

How about Carel Godin de Beaufort? He properly embodied the true reject spirit: he did not have the talent or equipment necessary to become a great name of the sport, but competed anyway for the sheer love of it.

by **SuperAguri** » 09 Oct 2011, 22:31

Gabriele Tarquini for the drivers, 40 DNQs to his name, probably never ever will be beaten.

Coloni for basically the same thing for teams.

by **dinizintheoven** » 09 Oct 2011, 23:49

BlindCaveSalamander wrote:How about Carel Godin de Beaufort? He properly embodied the true reject spirit: he did not have the talent or equipment necessary to become a great name of the sport, but competed anyway for the sheer love of it.

Intriguing. There's not someone I'd ever have thought of, and I particularly like this bit:

Wikipedia wrote:...and at his final race in Germany was even seen taking practice laps wearing a Beatles wig, rather than his helmet.

Only thing is... despite failings of his driving talent and/or his machinery, as you say, he still managed to unrejectify himself!

SuperAguri wrote:Gabriele Tarquini for the drivers, 40 DNQs to his name, probably never ever will be beaten.
Coloni for basically the same thing for teams.

Which both carry the not inconsiderable problem that both driver and team are still competing in the series...

by **Phoenix** » 09 Oct 2011, 23:56

What about the HWNSNBM Cup for drivers and the Bernard Shekelslike Cup for constructors?

by **dr-baker** » 10 Oct 2011, 00:40

Bernard Charles Ecclestone Cup - a 1950's reject driver whose skills definitely lay elsewhere...

by **tommykl** » 10 Oct 2011, 00:49

If you ever give out a trophy to the man with the most retirements, then why not call it the Clemar Bucci Cup? The guy retired in all five of his races.

by **dinizintheoven** » 10 Oct 2011, 02:57

Phoenix wrote:What about the HWNSNBM Cup for drivers and the Bernard Shekelslike Cup for constructors?

The first is too obvious - and the fact that it's the same cup actually presented to HWNSNBM in the first two F1RMGP seasons makes that look, retrospectively, rather egotistical for him. And I'm not letting Bernie - either this one or that - get his name anywhere near my silverware.

DItto any suggestions that it should be the Max Mosley Cup, Jean-Marie Balestre Cup, etc...

Anyway... keep the suggestions coming! Do not stop! I am going to leave the publication of the final result of F1RMGP 2013 unpublished for maybe five or six days instead of three - that way, I can make the announcements of what the cups will be named in that final post as they are presented to the driver and team in question.

That, and there's also a three-day beer festival coming up soon which won't keep me away from the internet at all, oh no it won't...

by **BlindCaveSalamander** » 10 Oct 2011, 04:00

tommykl wrote:If you ever give out a trophy to the man with the most retirements, then why not call it the Clemar Bucci Cup? The guy retired in all five of his races.

Any such trophy has to be named after Andrea de Cesaris, it's like an immutable law of nature or something.

by **dinizintheoven** » 10 Oct 2011, 05:39

BlindCaveSalamander wrote:Any such trophy has to be named after Andrea de Cesaris, it's like an immutable law of nature or something.

That might have to be a special trophy for the most crashes as opposed to merely retirements. What I should do is analyse de Crasheris' career, pick out the year where he had the highest number of crashes, and award the trophy to any driver who manages to exceed that level. Fairly obviously, it wouldn't be handed out in the F1RMGP 2011 season...

I stand also by what I said earlier in the 2013 season about Pedro Chaves getting a special Jean-Pierre Jabouille Cup for scoring all his points so far that season from wins. He didn't go on to win it, but that cup will remain in the trophy cabinet waiting for its first winner. Or maybe it will never be won...

Incidentally, I have a brilliant idea for the name of the Constructors' Cup (for the main series). I'll not say what it is, (a) to see if anyone else has the same idea, and (b) so you don't all give up on thinking up a name for it yourselves. Trophy names for the WEC Teams' Championship, and also the F1RMGP Drivers' Championship are well and truly still open for debate.

by **BlindCaveSalamander** » 10 Oct 2011, 06:03

dinizintheoven wrote:
BlindCaveSalamander wrote:Any such trophy has to be named after Andrea de Cesaris, it's like an immutable law of nature or something.

That might have to be a special trophy for the most crashes as opposed to merely retirements. What I should do is analyse de Crasheris' career, pick out the year where he had the highest number of crashes, and award the trophy to any driver who manages to exceed that level. Fairly obviously, it wouldn't be handed out in the F1RMGP 2011 season...

Yeah, that could work too. About the Constructors' Cup, I put forth Colin Kolles as a nomination - he doesn't run a team here and has the distinction of managing two different reject teams, both of which had undoubtedly the worst car on the grid at the time.

by **Shadaza** » 10 Oct 2011, 06:12

How about the Kojima cup for constructors? Plucky Japanese squad who on their first of only 2 apperances were accredited with Fastest lap under mysterious circumstances which are disputed yet they are still officially recognised as holding the fastest lap to this day, At the Japanese GP of Fuji of course.

by **JeremyMcClean** » 10 Oct 2011, 08:09

If he isn't in the series already, the Drivers' Trophy has to be the Ghinzani trophy. (If taken, the Merzario trophy will do just fine.)

The Constructors' Trophy has to be the Parnelli Trophy.

by **dinizintheoven** » 10 Oct 2011, 09:06

JeremyMcClean wrote:If he isn't in the series already, the Drivers' Trophy has to be the Ghinzani trophy.

...where have you been for the last three F1RMGP seasons?

JeremyMcClean wrote:If taken, the Merzario trophy will do just fine.
The Constructors' Trophy has to be the Parnelli Trophy.

Shadaza wrote:How about the Kojima cup for constructors? Plucky Japanese squad who on their first of only 2 apperances were accredited with Fastest lap under mysterious circumstances which are disputed yet they are still officially recognised as holding the fastest lap to this day, At the Japanese GP of Fuji of course.

Definitely some interesting suggestions coming in here.

I suspect all the other competitors at that race in 1976 had meat pies strategically placed in sensitive areas under the bodywork.

by **dinizintheoven** » 13 Oct 2011, 06:40

Three and a half days to go, people. I am going to set the closing point for this competition at the time the BBC F1 Forum finishes after the Korean Grand Prix, or approximately an hour and a half after the chequered flag.

by **FullMetalJack** » 13 Oct 2011, 07:00

For drivers, I suggest the Nissany Trophy
And for teams, the EuroBrun Trophy

by **dinizintheoven** » 16 Oct 2011, 03:38

One day or so to go. Any last-minute submissions?

by **tommykl** » 16 Oct 2011, 03:42

How about the Nick Heidfeld Award for the driver who finished the most races?

by **This** » 16 Oct 2011, 04:20

tommykl wrote:How about the Nick Heidfeld Award for the driver who finished the most races?

That has to be the Tiago Monteiro award!

by **tommykl** » 16 Oct 2011, 14:51

This wrote:
tommykl wrote:How about the Nick Heidfeld Award for the driver who finished the most races?

That has to be the Tiago Monteiro award!

No, the Monteiro Award should be for the rookie with the most finishes.

by **dinizintheoven** » 16 Oct 2011, 23:40

And the contest is closed. All nominations have been carefully considered. In the not too distant future (i.e. some time today) the Grand Finale of F1RMGP 2013 and the opening race of F1RMGPWEC 2014 will reveal the names...

by **dinizintheoven** » 09 Nov 2011, 02:31

All-new F1RMGP competition: "THE SUZUKI FACTOR"

Aguri Suzuki has a problem. He has a spare seat going for a highly competitive drive alongside Yuji Ide, but nobody is coming calling. There is only one thing to do: hold a shootout for who gets the drive.

Your job, loyal F1RMGP fans, seeing as you have chosen to accept it, is: nominate who you want to drive for Super Aguri in 2014.

One driver per forum member.
Stick to real life drivers.
Nominations close on 15th November, some time in the evening, GMT.
Drivers who are already contracted to another team for 2014 will be considered as a wasted nomination.
Those who end up in the shootout will drive a Super Aguri SA13, qualifying spec, over an hour's qualifying session in the morning and afternoon, at Suzuka.
The best lap time gets the drive.
I can't think of any more rules, but I'll soon tell you if you're doing something wrong.

Results will be published here and (probably) on the F1RMGP 2013 thread, amongst the Silly Season News.

by **DanielPT** » 09 Nov 2011, 02:45

The only one who is capable of bringing championship glory to Super Aguri:

Ukyo Katayama!!!!!!!!!!!

by **dr-baker** » 09 Nov 2011, 03:19

Can't go far wrong with The King! King Hiro Matsushita! Can't spell Matsushita without the traditional Japanese dish, sushi... And can't spell it either without an adjective that Emerson Fittipaldi would find apt, sh*t.

by **SuperAguri** » 09 Nov 2011, 03:53

Hideki Noda was very sad at not getting the call from Dome, he is upset that an interloper should enter a Japanese team when he has had experience in a Dome, he is so angry that he is determined to be the best in the Super Aguri!

by **BlindCaveSalamander** » 09 Nov 2011, 04:51

dr-baker wrote:Can't go far wrong with The King! King Hiro Matsushita! Can't spell Matsushita without the traditional Japanese dish, sushi... And can't spell it either without an adjective that Emerson Fittipaldi would find apt, sh*t.

If we're nominating old CART/IndyCar drivers, then clearly The Human Wrecking Ball, Shigeaki Hattori should be in the running - after all, how many other drivers have had a webpage dedicated to their destruction?

by **shinji** » 09 Nov 2011, 05:20

Take a wild guess :ugeek:

The Shinjinator.

by **tristan1117** » 09 Nov 2011, 13:21

Masami Kuwashima of course!

by **FMecha** » 09 Nov 2011, 16:38

tristan1117 wrote:Masami Kuwashima of course!

Except that Kuwashima will be too large to fit on the car so that Aguri Suzuki would have design another car (SA14B) specifically for him (think 1995 Mansell 'brain fade' at McLaren). :lol:

by **SuperAguri** » 10 Nov 2011, 02:54

FMecha wrote:
tristan1117 wrote:Except that Kuwashima will be too large to fit on the car so that Aguri Suzuki would have design another car (SA14B) specifically for him (think 1995 Mansell 'brain fade' at McLaren).

I don't know he does not look that big (recent photo in front of his old F2 car which was modified to an F1 car...)

by **eurobrun** » 11 Nov 2011, 08:03

I suggest Hayanari Shimoda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqYXmrVSgc0

by **FMecha** » 25 Nov 2011, 19:00

Ten days after the deadline and nothing from this. What happen? :oops:

by **dinizintheoven** » 26 Nov 2011, 02:46

Patience, FMecha!

FMecha wrote:Ten days after the deadline and nothing from this. What happen?

Somebody set up us the shootout. All my time are belong to those bigger fish I already said I had to fry*. Main screen turn on.

We get signal: FRYING TIME OVER SOON!!!

F1RMGP 2014 season preparations have many chance to survive make your time.

* until this weekend. Approximately. In case you're all struggling to translate the fluent Engrish, I'll do the shootout and the next race in the WEC on Sunday, most likely just after Sebastian Vettel has won the Brazilian Grand Prix.

by **dinizintheoven** » 28 Nov 2011, 13:39

THE SUZUKI FACTOR: RESULTS

Suzuki-san was impressed at the offer of seven drivers to take part in his competition for the honour of driving his cars next season. And so, he has shifted the goalposts a bit. The shootout involves what translates to three one-hour qualifying sessions (in short, 12 laps per driver), where the driver posting the fastest time makes it through to the final on the second day and takes no further part in the remainder of these sessions. The final, on the afternoon of the second day, involves those fastest three drivers from the qualifying sessions, in a further one-hour session held to the same rules, and the fastest of those gets the drive.

Ah-so...

Saturday, 7 December 2013: morning

H. Noda 1'44.473
U. Katayama 1'45.477
M. Kuwashima 1'45.725
S. Nakano 1'45.888
S. Hattori 1'46.145
H. Shimoda 1'46.434
H. Matsushita 1'46.806

Saturday, 7 December 2013: afternoon

U. Katayama 1'44.273
H. Shimoda 1'45.529
M. Kuwashima 1'45.687
H. Matsushita 1'46.143
S. Hattori 1'46.222
S. Nakano 1'46.359

Sunday, 8 December 2013: morning

S. Nakano 1'44.231
H. Shimoda 1'45.556
H. Matsushita 1'47.514
S. Hattori 1'47.567
M. Kuwashima 1'48.106

Suzuki-san says many humble thanks to those other four competing drivers, but it's sayonara to them, and now, on with the final...

Sunday, 8 December 2013: afternoon - final
S. Nakano 1'43.905
H. Noda 1'43.923
U. Katayama 1'44.131

IT'S THE SHINJINATOR!

Shinji Nakano signed his contract there and then, and will be driving alongside Yuji Ide in the 2014 F1RMGP season.

by **shinji** » 29 Nov 2011, 04:38

Nakano Shinji crashuuuuuu!

by **SuperAguri** » 29 Nov 2011, 10:10

Autosport wrote:Hideki Noda to sue Super Suzuki

Hideki Noda was very upset as he set the fastest time of all the drivers before being told "ah Suzuki san wants to have three sessions before having a shootout for the spot", as the winner Shinji Nakano had more time in the car, hideki felt he was at a disadvantage, especially as he gave his all to win session 1 with a healthy margin. Super Aguri were very silent as the management sent Mr Suzuki off on a long holiday. Hideki Noda is running out of places to go but he said "I am fast and I want to race.", Suzuki is likely to behis best bet if they get a spot.

by **dinizintheoven** » 02 Dec 2011, 07:45

F1RMGP COMPETITION III: YOUR CHANCE TO BE VAN GOGH!

David Price Racing are in a spot of bother for the 2014 F1RMGP season. Having never been able to decide on a coherent livery during their days (quite frankly wasted) in GP2, they've decided to open the doors to a third party.

Your mission, F1RMGP fans, should you choose to accept it, is to design a livery for David Price Racing (minus sponsors, unless it's absolutely and arse-clenchingly necessary), post it here, and we'll see who has done the finest job when the cars for the new season are revealed.

Use any existing livery template you like, but be aware I'll have to be able to reproduce it myself via Row-Man Gross-Gene's F1 colouring book.

The competition closes at the end of the year.

by **dinizintheoven** » 05 Jan 2012, 02:25

Real-life news

So, after this last competition failed to produce any meaningful activity, or even any activity at all, I went ahead and designed all the cars myself while I was away from internet-land for a few days, as well as writing the intro bumph for all the 2014 teams.

It's time to get the new season going, and here's the "real life" posting schedule which I will attempt to stick to as rigidly as humanly possible.

R1 (Brazil): 9 Jan
R2 (Mexico): 13 Jan
R3 (Canada, eh): 17 Jan
R4 (San Marino): 21 Jan
R5 (Monaco): 25 Jan
R6 (Andorra): 29 Jan
R7 (France): 2 Feb
R8 (Britain): 6 Feb
R9 (Germany): 10 Feb
R10 (Belgium): 14 Feb
R11 (Hungary): 18 Feb
R12 (Italy): 22 Feb
R13 (Portugal): 26 Feb
R14 (Spain): 1 Mar
R15 (Japan): 5 Mar
R16 ('Straya): 9 Mar

This way, when the season finishes, it'll be exactly a week to the first practice session in Melbourne. And, hopefully, some of us will be able to watch it. Virgin Media haven't said yet if they'll be carrying the Sky F1 channel, and I'll need to know before the end of February at the very latest...

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